Allyssia (Chapter One)


“Now do you have everything packed?”

“For the hundredth time, mom, yes.”

“Do you have enough socks? Maybe going to a college so far away isn’t the best idea.”

“Mom, the bus is here, I better go. I’ll be fine. I love you.”

“Keep in touch dear.”

“I will, mom.” Jade kisses her mom on the cheek as she grips her in a tight embrace.

Jade gets out of the blue Volkswagen Golf and walks across the road to the bus. Her long black hair with the pink ends blowing in the wind. The rain starts washing off her heavy black eyeliner, her heavy, black boots making a squelching sound as she walks through the puddles.

Jade had really changed in the last two years. She had turned from the happy, outspoken girl that everybody knew, into a complete stranger. She no longer sings, no longer listens to the same type of music. Instead of Westlife, her favourite band is now Asking Alexandria, much to her mothers disliking. The death of her father hit her hard. She had always been such a daddy’s girl. But when his motorbike got side-swiped by a truck she changed completely. Now instead of Britney Spears, it’s Iron Maiden. Instead of uggs and converse it’s heavy black boots you wouldn’t see on anyone outside of the military. No more pink t shirts and frilly skirts, but instead ripped skirts or jeans with chains hanging at the waist, and a band t-shirt. Her mom gave up trying to comfort her as it just seemed to anger Jade. The therapy wasn’t working, which was evident when Jade kicked the therapist and flipped his table over when he asked if she had ever had anger problems in her past.

Gus on the other hand is the complete opposite type of person to Jade.

“Hey mom I’m heading off, Sean is here.”

“Okay honey, call me when you get there?”

“Of course mom.” Gus is a free spirited, very outgoing guy. Sean and him have been best friends since they were only twelve years old, and now they’re heading off to college together seven years later.

“Well Sean boy,” laughs Gus as he climbs into the passenger side of the car.” Gus has to remind himself to duck every time he gets into the ’94 Ford Fiesta. The car wasn’t made to accommodate people six foot three inches tall. Sean on the other hand never had that problem at just five foot seven. Both guys are very sporty with Sean also playing a the guitar. Sean is a little more quiet than Gus, often laughing at Gus’s immaturity.

“Well Gus” comes Sean’s response,

“College huh?”

“Yeah who would have thought you would get into college eh Gus?”

“The Hell you on ’bout man? I am a legend!”

“So they just let all legends go to college these days? Yeah cool” sighs Sean.

“Shut up. You love me.”

“Aye that I do” says Sean in his Irish accent.

Together they pull out of Gus’s drive-way and leave for their three hour car journey together for college.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you?” offers Marie’s dad to his daughter. It was more of a request than an offer.

“No thanks dad. It’s only a four hour train journey. Anyway, I have my headphones. And I’ve loads of books in my bag anyway in case I get too bored.”

“Well okay. But listen, if you decide that you want to come home at any stage you just ring me okay?” Marie’s dad has been over protective of her her whole life. She is all he has left of his wife and as Marie is getting older she is starting to look more and more like her mother. She has those same mysterious blue eyes that her mother had. Her mother was from India, her dad from America. Marie was just as small as her mother too. She stands five foot four inches tall with her beautifully tanned complexion.

“I will dad. Hey tell Mike and Molly I said goodbye?”

“Sure thing darling. You’re going to miss those dogs.”

“Of course I am dad. We’ve had them for as long as I can remember. Anyway here’s the train. I’ll call you when up there. Goodbye dad, I love you.” Marie grips her dad in a tight embrace. She notices a tear fall from his eye but doesn’t speak of it. She just hugs him tighter knowing how hard it must be for him to have the only reminder of his wife leave him for almost four months, until Christmas.

“I love you too, sweetheart” comes the reply as she turns to leave for the train. She gets on, but not before looking back to blow her dad a kiss, which he pretends to catch and put into his pocket. As the train pulls out she looks out the window to see her dad turning to get into his car to drive home.

Jade arrives at the house. She had to walk for seven minutes from the bus stop but she doesn’t mind. She’s the first there. She stops at the gate and looks at the two story building in front of her, wondering how many students just like her have lived here. The house itself is tall for a two story building. It’s a lot more intimidating now than it was when she came up to sign the lease for the room. The front patch of grass looked like a full lawn back then, now it just looks like a pathetic excuse for owning a lawnmower. The Gothic windows, she never took much notice of them before, but now as the sun is setting she can’t help but feel intimidated by their high arches. The house was built in the 1800’s. It contained a lot of history, but she couldn’t help but feel like a lot of that history was also death.

Inside however the house looked much nicer. She walked into the hallway through the front door. To the left was the living room, the stairs on the right and straight ahead is the kitchen. Under the stairs is a bathroom with a shower, toilet and sink. It’s small but it’ll get the job done she thinks aloud. She walks up the stairs. Stright in front of her is a bedroom with a double bed. to the left of that is her room. There are three more rooms going in an anti-clockwise direction with a bathroom in the middle. She walks into her room. It’s got a double bed. the first thought that enters her mind is if there’ll be any hot guys staying here that she can share her bed with.

The next to arrive is Marie. Marie, being a more innocent girl then Jade immediately calls her dad.

“Hey dad, yeah I’m here now. Okay dad. I won’t. dad stop, I’m sure the people here are lovely. Okay dad, I will, tell Mike and Molly I’ll miss them. Yes dad, of course I’ll miss you too. Okay thanks, bye dad, I love you too.”

“Talking to the paps huh?” startled , Marie jumps.

“Oh hi, you must be Jade, sorry I didn’t know anybody else was here.”

“It’s cool, I kind of like knowing I can scare people,” Jade states as she winks playfully before leaving. Marie smiles.

“she seems nice” she says to herself.

A short while later as it’s just getting dark out Sean and Gus arrive.

“Honey, I’m home” yells Gus.

“You’re such a douche,” laughs Sean.

“Why hey there” winks Gus as he sees Jade.

“Why hey there yourself, you creep” comes the reply.

“Ouch, man I’m feeling the love already!”

“You’ll be feeling my fist up your a . . ”

“Okay” shouts Sean. “So why don’t Gus and I go upstairs and unpack.

“Dude, the Hell you at?” Sean asks Gus when they reach the top of the stairs.

“I’m only having a laugh, man.”

“Yeah well stop. We don’t need arguments in here, especially with . . ” suddenly they here a loud bang and crash.

They race down the stairs. Jade and Marie are already there.

“Hello? Are you okay?” asks Jade offering the girl who just fell through the front door a hand up.

she takes Jade’s hand. “I’m. I. I’m Allyssia.” She tries to catch her breath

The girl was as pale as a ghost. The only colour on her face was her blue eyes. She had make up on but it was all smudged. She was wearing black, dirty clothes.

“What happened you?”

“I don’t know. One, one minute I’m. One minute I was walking here, the next thing I knew, there was this. This creep. He pushed me against a wall. I don’t remember much after that because I hit my head,” she shows the group a patch of dried blood on her head. “I remember him starting to kiss or bite my neck or something but that’s about all. I woke up with these.” She proceeds to show them teeth marks on her neck with dried blood around them.

“What?” asks Gus horrified.

“What did you do?” inquires Sean.
Sean, like everyone is completely shocked. Sean however, is able to keep his voice sounding calm. He rests his hand on her shoulder. Allyssia is shivering.

“I tried to get away” Allsyssia starts to cry.

“I tried to get away but he, he wouldn’t let go. He was too strong.”

At this stage Allyssia completely breaks out in tears.

Sean takes out his phone.

“What are you doing?” asks Jade.

“I’m ringing the cops.”

“Please don’t.” They look at Allyssia who is now sobbing to herself. “Please don’t. I can’t. I can’t talk about it. I don’t want to have to imagine it again. It was awful. I passed out after he bit me. At least I think he bit me. I don’t remember. I only have these marks. Please, I’m begging you. Just let me get a shower and go to bed.”

Sean pulls her aside.

“Look we can’t let him away with this.”

“I know we can’t. But tomorrow. Please. I can’t go through it again.”

“Okay” resigns Sean with a sigh.

Jade goes upstairs towards the bathroom for her shower. As Sean towards back towards the group he hears Gus shouting.

“I wanna kill him.” screams Gus as he punches the wall causing his knuckles to bleed.

“That’s always you’re problem. You can’t think logically at all can you?” asks Sean rhetorically.

“I don’t care! No guy has the right to put anybody, especially a women through that kind of pain. I want to kill him.”

“We’ll go to the cops in the morning. Right now I think it’s best if we leave the poor girl alone. She’s been through enough.”

“Jade, Marie, after Allyssia gets her shower and is dressed, will one of you two call in and check up on her? It wouldn’t be very appropriate for a guy to enter her room without warning. She may not want to be around any guys alone after that.”

“Yeah, I’ll call in” offers Jade.

“So will I” says Marie.

“Thanks guys. Wow, what a way to start off life in college.”



  1. Good start but is the bite on the neck a touch obvious? Have the blood and her hiding what’s happened maybe? And maybe have a look at your tenses; you slip from present to past a fair bit. And I kinda agree with the first comment in that you’ll increase the tension, once the ids are in the house if you take just one POV. Hope that helps.

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